Indictment of the Heart...

“The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?” - Jeremiah 17:9



You, oh heart of man, are a liar. I am stunned by your deceit and trickery. You tell me that you need only one additional thing to be satisfied. Then, when that thing is obtained the lie repeats. It’s an endless cycle of deception that feeds on and destroys the joy of life. I could give you silver and you'd want gold. I could give you gold and you'd want silver. I could give you both and you'd want love. If I were to travel the world and at last find for you love pure and true you would then demand more of all. You are a liar and the thief of satisfaction. You insist we travel dark woods, but never share your map. You are the priest that marries people to their jobs and the keeper of the idols that they bow before. You are the mother of the brute called insecurity, which lurks about impregnating the souls of men with worry and distrust. You are the gatekeeper to the house of bondage, softly beckoning all who wander by but fiercely fighting back those that try to leave. Many a night I have slept in cold regret because of your lies, while you rested in peace, your belly swollen with my former joys. You are a hoard of locust on the fields of contentment. Once vibrant with lush greens and windswept grasses, they now lay desolate and bare. Beauty untold turns sour in your clutch. You distort what is satisfying and make it to look dull through the dark lens of comparison. You are the bridegroom of selfishness and want, causing a blind eye toward starving children and garages already too full. You are the warlord and commander of obsessions guiding them like well-fired arrows. Even stout, young men drop helplessly when struck and go no further in their quest for glory. You inject the poison of apathy and hide the cure in full sight but out of reach. Enemies may slay, but you constrict. The breath of joy is slowly choked, yet lifeless life remains. However, deceitful heart of mine, do you not feel the dripping blood of grace upon you? Did you think yourself the only strong contender? The lies are wearing thin oh heart… the lies are wearing thin…

He Loves Thee Too Little...

This is a journal entry I found from May 4, 2006. Just thought I would throw it up here for all to ponder.

“He loves Thee too little who loves

anything together with Thee which he

loves not for thy dear sake” - Augustine

And if one commits this treason, who is at loss? Certainly not God, for He cannot be mocked. (Gal. 6:7) Man is at loss. O what a paradox… If one does not seek God simply for the sake of God he will wither. If he simply seeks God for “anything together with Thee,” he will dry up and (spiritually) die. I have tasted of this bitter truth. If I seek God for the end purpose of anything other than Himself and his glory and His name’s sake than I will find neither God nor the other thing. But O how He is willing to throw open the floodgates of blessing to those who “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness!” (Matthew 6:33) “He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” (Heb. 11:6) He is not a rewarder of those who seek rewards, for they “have received their reward in full.” (Matthew 6:2, 6:5, 6:16) “Delight… in the law of the LORD, and… [you] will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither” (Psalm 1:2-3)

If you desire something seek not that thing, seek God. Do not seek God in addition to this thing, but seek God alone! “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) Do not delight in the desires; delight in God! Delight in the desire will not give the desire, for it says that “delight in God” is what brings about the desire of one’s heart. Go to Him to get what your heart longs for. If you go anywhere else to get it you will not be doing what is required to get the desires of your heart and thus your “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12) Rather, “fix [your] hope on… God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy.” (1 Tim 6:17)

O the beauty! O the joy to be had! Can it be true?! “Delight” and you will be given your desires? But what of hard work and good deeds? What about laboring to enjoy the fruits of it? Certainly we must work hard and be disciplined to get our desires, right? Or was that the fatal flaw of the man in Luke 12:16-21? He wanted a safe and comfortable retirement so he labored diligently and saved up until he earned his desires and could live to reap the benefits. Little did the fool know that his life would be demanded of him before the commencement of his pleasures. If only his hope was set on God, safety and comfort would have been his all along. He could have said along with David that “I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who set themselves against me,” (Psalm 3:6) and “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

Seek the fleeting pleasures of full grain silos, or honor and power, or any seeming comfort, and hard labor accompanied by undesired death will be your closest companions. Rather lay down your earthly tools and “cease striving and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10) Stop laboring in the fields of deeds and simply “delight in the LORD.” Is it not astounding that the greatest commandment, the foremost duty is simply to love God? Love Him, cherish Him, and adore Him. Don’t seek [worldly] pleasure, they’re suicide! (Suicide to your complete and lasting joy that’s found only in the presence of The Almighty) Seek Him and He will give you real pleasures. Put Isaac on the alter of sacrifice, for that’s the only way you may get him back.

Stop loving only gifts. Moreover, love the gift giver. If your heart is set only on the gifts, than in time they will stop coming. Instead, let your heart forsake the gifts for the sake of setting it upon the giver of them. Then the giver Himself shall be a stream of water to you, the tree. God is ready to give, make no mistake of that, “for your father has been pleased to give you the kingdom,” (Luke 12:32) and “He who did not spare His own son… will… graciously give us all things.” (Rom. 8:32) However, to the one who has set his heart on the things of this world and the grain silos, and girls, and money, and security, “[that] one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.” (Matthew 25:29)